Final Diagnosis sg-10 Read online

  “Not too soon, I hope,” said Morredeth.

  “Why do you say that?” Hewlitt asked, beginning to feel uneasy. “Is it a particularly unpleasant creature?”

  “No,” the other replied. “I have found it to be a pleasant entity, at least for a non-Kelgian. I have not been here long enough to know what exactly it does, but Horrantor tells me that it is usually sent to patients that the medics are no longer able to help. You know, the hopeless cases.

  Hewlitt did not like the sound of that, and wondered if Braithwaite’s earlier reference to Lioren had been entirely factual. Not everyone, in fact not anyone, was as forthright as a Kelgian.

  “Who is Horrantor?” he asked. “One of the medics?”

  “One of the patients,” said Morredeth, pointing. “That one. It is coming to find out what we are talking about. You can feel the floor shaking.”

  “What is wrong with it?” said Hewlitt. He kept his voice low in case the Tralthan patient, too, was reticent about its medical problems.

  “Surely that is obvious,” the Kelgian snapped at him, “when it is walking on only five legs. The strapped-up leg was crushed in an industrial accident, rebuilt with microsurgery, and will be good as new. There was damage to the reproductive system and birth canal which still require treatment, but don’t ask it for the gory details. At least, not while I’m with you. I have heard more than enough about its reproductive plumbing, and anyway, it reminds me of my own problems. Oh, Bowab is heading this way, too. We usually play cards, bellas or scremman, to pass the time. Do you play any card games?”

  “Yes, no,” said Hewlitt. “What I mean is, I know the rules of a few Earth games, but I don’t play them well. Is Bowab the Duthan who is walking behind Horrantor? What is wrong with it?”

  “You are very indecisive, Hewlitt,” said Morredeth. “Either you can play or you cannot. Bellas is a Tralthan game of skill similar to Earth whist. Scremman is from Nidia originally and, according to Bowab, who considers itself an expert, is a game of chance played by skillful, passive liars and cheats. I don’t know what is wrong with the Duthan except that the problem is uncommon, and medical rather than surgical. This is the hospital’s main observation, transition, and sometimes recuperation ward for patients lucky enough to survive-which, Leethveeschi tells us, is most of them. They send some pretty weird patients here sometimes.”

  “Yes,” said Hewlitt, watching the two who were approaching and wondering whether, in the present company, the remark was aimed at him.

  Horrantor came to a stop at the bottom of the bed, its injured leg barely touching the floor. One each of the four, extensible eyes projecting from around the immobile dome of its head were directed at Morredeth, Bowab, Hewlitt, and, for some reason, the distant nurses’ station. The Duthan moved to the side of the bed opposite Hewlitt. He wondered whether the irregular brown patches of fur on its otherwise dark green, centaurlike body were a symptom of its medical condition, or a natural feature like the thick, white line that began in the center of its forehead then widened along the upper and lower spine to disappear into the long bushy tail, but decided not to ask. It folded its rear legs, stood on the forward set, and leaned its elbows and forearms on the bed. Both of its eyes, which were capable of looking in only one direction at a time, were staring at him.

  Hewlitt hesitated, then introduced himself and followed with a brief description of his problem. He could think of nothing else to talk about, because all they had in common was a collection of symptoms.

  Horrantor made a low, moaning sound that might have indicated sympathy and said, “At least we know what is wrong with us. If they don’t know what is wrong with you and you feel physically fit, it might take a long time before they find a cure.”

  “Yes, indeed,” said Bowab, “more than enough time to become terminally bored. Unless, of course, you can find an amusing way of passing the time. Are you a gambling person, Patient Hewlitt?”

  Before he could reply, Morredeth said, “Even a Kelgian could change the subject more gradually than that. Hewlitt knows how to play cards, but not bellas or scremman. We might be able to teach it, or it might prefer to teach us one of its games.”

  “That would give you initial advantages, Patient Hewlitt,” said Horrantor, turning another eye in his direction. “With us as ~opponents, you would need them.”

  It was obvious that these people had a high opinion of themselves as cardplayers, and he was tempted to try confusing them with the rules of a complicated and partnered game like whist-or better still, bridge. But if their self-assessment was accurate, they might not be confused for long.

  “I would prefer to learn than teach,” he said. “Besides, I didn’t think that I would need to bring Earth playing cards with me.”

  “You don’t,” said Bowab, as it reached into the pocket of its abbreviated apron, the only item of clothing that it was wearing, and drew out a very thick pack of cards. “If anyone needs them, Leethveeschi can request a pack from the staff recreation level. That’s how we got ours. We’ll play a few practice games with the cards faceup to let you know what is going on. But let’s not waste time, Morredeth. Squeeze up the bed and give us some playing space.

  The Kelgian coiled itself into a flatter S so that the bottom of its bed was left clear, then twisted its conical head and upper body sideways until its short arms hung over the playing area. Bowab, Horrantor, and Hewlitt were already in position when the Tralthan said, “Leethveeschi is heading this way. What can it want with us at this time of the day? Is anybody due medication?”

  “Patient Hewlitt,” said the charge nurse, stopping so that it could look at him through the clear space between Horrantor and Bowab. “I am glad to see that you have begun socializing and indulging in a group activity with other patients, and Lieutenant Braithwaite will also be pleased when he hears about it.

  “But there is a hospital regulation governing the group activity in which you are about to engage,” it went on. “The game must be played for mental exercise only. No personal property, negotiable Federation currency, or promissory notes of any kind may be exchanged as a result of playing it. You find yourself among a group of civilized predators, Patient Hewlitt, and the thought that comes most readily to my mind is best described by the Earth-human phrase ‘a sheep among wolves.’ Please try not to become too excited in case your medical monitor reports it as a clinical emergency. Also…

  One green, shapeless hand dug into a pocket attached to the outer surface of Leethveeschi’s protective envelope and withdrew a small, plastic box, which it tossed onto the bed beside him.

  These are used by your species, among others,” it continued, “to remove food scraps adhering to the spaces between their teeth. Doubtless you will find another use for them. Good luck.”

  After the charge nurse left them it was Bowab who was the first to find its voice.

  “Toothpicks, a full box!” it said. “We had to divide half a box among us. Hewlitt, you are a millionaire!”

  CHAPTER 11

  The game was not as complicated as Hewlitt had first thought, even though it was played with a pack containing seventy-five cards in five fifteen-card suits, each with its own individual symbol and color: blue crescents, red spears, yellow shields, black serpents, and green trees. The highest-value cards were the Ruler, his-heror-its Mate, and the Heir, followed in descending order by the values twelve to one. Unlike the Earth games he knew, where the ace had the highest value, the Poor One, as it was called, was the lowest card-except when a hand contained a twelve of the same suit, in which case the combination could depose one of the three riding cards.

  There were historic and sociopolitical implications to the game, the others explained, in that the merging of the lowest and the highest non-Ruler cards signified a popular uprising, a palace revolution, or, in present times, a successful corporate takeover. Three, four, or five cards of the same number in different suits had particular values, and if the hand also contained a ten it could depose two of
an opponent’s Rulers. There were other combinations of numbers and symbols of lesser power which were capable ofreducing the value of an opponents’ single cards or combinations, but Hewlitt thought that it would take a little time to learn them all.

  The players could request an extra card free during the first three rounds of the game, but were required to discard it or another from their hands each time, and after that they had to buy the cards from the dealer, called the Ruler of the Game, by raising the stake. Players who did not buy extra cards either had bad hands and were unwilling to waste money, or very good ones and were sitting tight.

  A further complication was that each player had two discard piles of up to three cards placed faceup, but only he, she, or it knew which pile was for permanent discard and which was for returning to the hand, if required, before the end of the game. It was possible to discover which was the true discard pile by studying the body language of an opponent, always bearing in mind the possibility that it was probably generating false signals.

  “During the first few games we will go easy on you,” said Horrantor, with an untranslatable sound that might have been the Tralthan equivalent of laughter, “and point out your mistakes as we go. I think you now understand the rules well enough for us to begin.”

  “But not well enough,” said Bowab, hunching closer to the bed, “to begin cheating.”

  “Cheating, yes,” the Tralthan went on. “You must always remember, Patient Hewlitt, that your opponents will try to cheat; that is, to take unfair advantage of you in any way possible to them. This includes using their physiological differences against you. For example, it may not have occurred to you that, with me standing as I am next to you, one of my eyes can be extended laterally so as to see across your hand. There is also the fact that Duthans have the ability to sharpen the focus of their eyes when the object, in this case your own eyes, are remaining at a fixed distance. The reflection of your cards in your eyes is clear, especially the card you are lifting into your hand, so you should obscure your opponent’s view by slitting your eyes and looking through the unsightly fringes of hair on the edges of your upper and lower eyelids. More subtle methods of cheating will be used against you which, in the beginning, we will allow you to detect and counter for yourself.”

  “Th-thank you,” said Hewlitt.

  “Stop talking and deal,” said Morredeth.

  The next two hours passed very quickly until the arrival of the Hudlar nurse with the announcement that the evening meal was about to be served.

  “If you wish to continue with your conversation and group activity,” it said, “you may eat together at the table outside the nurses’ station; otherwise the meal must be delivered to your individual beds. Well?”

  Horrantor, Bowab, and Morredeth said “the table” in unison, and Hewlitt said the same a moment later.

  “Are you sure, Patient Hewlitt?” asked the nurse. “You have limited other-species’ social experience, and seeing some of them at table for the first time may be psychologically disquieting. Or have you dined with off-wonders before now?”

  “Well, no,” he replied, “but I don’t want to interrupt our conversation. I’m sure it will be all right, Nurse.”

  “The trick,” said Horrantor, “is to look at nobody’s platter but your own.

  But when the trays arrived he could not help sneaking a glance at the others’ platters, and decided that their food looked unappetizing but not revolting. It was the sight of Horrantor pushing enormous quantities of cooked vegetation-it had at least six times the body mass of an Earth-human and no doubt needed generous helpings-into an opening that he had not suspected was a mouth that he found most disconcerting. Morredeth was an herbivore also, and made a lot of noise while demolishing a selection of crisp, uncooked, and unidentifiable vegetables. He could not tell what Bowab was eating, although it had a strange, spicy smell, and he noticed that none of them was looking at his platter.

  Was it simple good manners, he wondered, or was the sight of his synthetic steak and mushrooms having an even worse effect on them?

  As soon as they were finished the other three returned their trays to the delivery float, so Hewlitt did the same. He did not know whether this was to save time and effort for the nursing staff or to clear the table quickly for another game. Either way he thought it was a good idea.

  While Bowab, the overall winner of the previous game, was dealing he said, “You people are really devious and nasty and vicious as players. I wouldn’t call those last three games going easy on me. It isn’t fair. I’ve lost half of my toothpicks already.”

  “Think of it as the involuntary payment of tuition fees,” said Bowab. “Besides, scremman isn’t a fair game, it is you who are fair game.

  A furry centaur who makes jokes, Hewlitt thought. He laughed politely and said, “It is a most unfair game, so far as I am concerned, because winning depends not only on a player’s capacity for misdirection, concealment, and bluff, but on the accurate reading of an opponent’s expression. Under all that Kelgian and Duthan fur I don’t even know if there are expressions to read, and Horrantor’s head skin is about as expressive as Hudlar hide. Until I came to this place I spoke to off-worlders only by communicator. You people are so completely strange to me that I wouldn’t know a revealing expression if I saw one.

  “Since coming here,” said Bowab, “we have seen you studying the library’s physiological classification system used to describe and identify Federation citizens, which includes basic information on their sociopsychological behavior. During the last game you were quick to discover my true discard pile. Either you are being too modest, Patient Hewlitt, or you are not as ignorant as you are leading us to believe.

  “In which case,” said Horrantor, joining in, “you have learned that there is a psychological extension to scremman which operates during the breaks between play. You are indeed progressing well.”

  “And should I also learn,” said Hewlitt, “not to be disarmed by compliments?”

  “Of course,” said Bowab.

  He laughed again and said, “Then if I admit to ignorance on any subject, it would not weaken my position because the admission would be treated as a possible misdirection aimed at concealing a strength. But what do you do with a person like Morredeth? Surely it must be at a disadvantage because it cannot tell a lie?”

  “Kelgian misdirection,” said Horrantor, “involves concealing the intentions by not saying anything. We must try to discover what it is thinking by observing its fur movements. They are subtle and very difficult for a non-Kelgian to identify.”

  Bowab looked at Horrantor and back to Hewlitt, making a growling sound that did not translate. He could not be sure, but he thought that the Duthan was trying to warn him about something.

  “When I was a child,” Hewlitt went on, “I knew one furry creature well enough to guess at what it was thinking, or at least feeling. Sometimes I could make it change its mind and play when it wanted to sleep, and at other times it was able to make me do what it wanted. It was called a kitten, that is an immature cat, which is a nonsapient Earth-evolved pet that was technically the property of my parents although its behavior suggested that the opposite held true. It was a handsome female which, because of the peculiar mottled, brown color, was given the name of a sugary home-made candy Earth-people call Fudge. When it was angry or frightened its fur rose, which was an instinctive response from predomesticated times which made it look larger and more fearsome, but it soon learned more subtle methods of communication.

  “If it wanted food,” he continued, “it would rub its head against my ankles or, if its needs were persistently ignored, it would unsheath its claws and try to climb up my legs. When it rolled from side to side on its back and punched at the air with its paws, that meant it wanted to play, and if it curled up on my lap with its eyes closed, limbs folded under its body and chin on its tail, it wanted to sleep. Sometimes it did not seem to know whether it wanted to sleep or play on my lap.

&nb
sp; “But it was a very active and friendly entity,” said Hewlitt, and for a moment he could almost see it walking stiff-legged and tail ~ erect around the center of their table and pushing at the cards with a forepaw, “so it did not object when I made its mind up for it and began patting and stroking and tickling it, very gently, on its stomach and under its chin and around its ears. It liked that but pretended it didn’t by striking my hand with its paws, softly and with its claws sheathed. Most of all it liked me to stroke its back, especially when I began by gently pressing my fingertips on its head between the eyes and moving them slowly between its ears and along the spine to its tail, which by then was standing up straight. When I did that it would purr, which is the noise cats make when they are feeling pleasure…

  “This conversation,” said Morredeth, its fur rippling in uneven waves, “is becoming very erotic and for me unpleasant. Stop it at once.

  “It is bothering me, too,” Bowab agreed, “but pleasantly. Why are you talking so much about this furry pet of yours? In character or behavior did it resemble Morredeth or myself? Was it a special, nonsapient friend? What happened to it and where is the story leading?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to offend anyone,” said Hewlitt, “and I don’t know why I am talking about that cat now when I haven’t even thought about it for years. Maybe it is because it was my first nonhuman friend. It was very friendly and did not resemble anyone here, especially while you are playing scremman, but it was too adventurous for its own good. There was an accident when it ran too close to a large antigravity vehicle and was crushed by the outer edge of the repulsor field. It did not appear to be badly injured because it was still breathing and there was only a small amount of blood around its mouth and ears, but my parents said that there was no hope for it and they would send for the pet healer to have the poor thing put out of its misery. Before they could stop me I lifted it and took it to my room, and locked the door so nobody could take it away from me, then I nursed it in bed with me all night until…